Women who grew up without a father figure tend to display these 8 behaviors as adults

Growing up without a father figure can shape how women approach life as adults. I’ve seen how the absence of that presence, whether emotional or physical, can influence behaviors and patterns that become part of daily life.

It’s something I’ve thought about often, especially when considering how our early experiences continue to impact us as we grow.

In this article, I’ll explore eight behaviors often seen in women who experienced this absence. My aim is to help you understand how these patterns emerge, without placing blame, but rather offering clarity on how past experiences shape current actions.

1) Seeking validation

Growing up without a father figure can often leave a significant emotional void. This void may lead to a constant search for validation in adulthood, particularly for women. As the study revealed, such absence might impact women’s self-perception and emotional development, leading them to seek validation more intensely in various aspects of their lives.

Every human yearns for acceptance and recognition. However, for those who missed out on that paternal affirmation during their formative years, this need can become amplified. They might find themselves seeking approval not only from their partners or peers but also in various arenas of life.

The good part is that you can choose how you respond to it.

Seeking validation is not inherently negative. In fact, it can be a driving force for personal growth, self-improvement, and success. The key lies in channeling this need constructively and not letting it compromise our sense of self-worth.

2) Fear of abandonment

A second behavior that’s commonly observed in women who grew up without a father figure is a deep-seated fear of abandonment. This apprehension is rooted in the childhood experience of losing or not having a significant parental figure, and it can influence interpersonal relationships in adulthood.

In my own journey, I’ve encountered many strong, incredible women who’ve struggled with this fear. It can manifest in different ways – from anxiety in relationships to difficulty trusting others.

As Brené Brown once said, “Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.” This quote beautifully encapsulates the process of acknowledging our fears and choosing to engage fully with life despite them.

3) Overcompensating independence

A common behavior that often surfaces in women who grew up without a father figure is an intense sense of independence. While being self-reliant is a powerful trait, it can sometimes turn into a form of overcompensation where accepting help or showing vulnerability becomes difficult.

This strong desire to prove self-sufficiency may be rooted in the early experience of not having a supportive father figure to rely on. It’s a way of showing the world and oneself that they can handle anything that comes their way.

The important thing here is to know that it’s okay to lean on others, to ask for help when needed. Independence doesn’t mean having to do everything alone. It simply shows that you have capability and resilience to stand on your own while understanding the value of interdependence.

To explore this idea a little more, I invite you to watch my video where I reflect on whether it’s too late for me to settle down and start a family in my 40s. In this video, I discuss the pressures of societal norms, the importance of personal growth, and the power of embracing every phase of life, including the interdependence that comes with building a family with someone.

It’s never too late to start living with more authenticity and freedom. If you’d like to join me and over 20,000 others on this journey, feel free to subscribe to my YouTube channel here.

4) Struggling with self-worth

Another behavior often observed in women who grew up without a father figure is struggling with self-worth. According to research, the absence of a significant parental figure during formative years can sometimes leave a person questioning their value.

This struggle can manifest in different aspects of life, from personal relationships to professional pursuits. It’s not uncommon for these individuals to feel like they have to constantly prove themselves worthy of love, acceptance, and respect.

Here’s the raw truth: It’s a tough battle. It’s a journey filled with ups and downs, successes and failures. But it’s also an opportunity for immense personal growth and self-awareness.

One of my core beliefs is that true empowerment comes from taking full responsibility for our lives. This includes acknowledging our struggles, including self-worth issues, and choosing to face them head-on. You need to learn to shift your focus from external validation to nurturing love and compassion within yourself.

You are not defined by the absence of a father figure. You are defined by your resilience, your strength, your capacity for love and compassion, and your unyielding spirit in the face of adversity. You are enough, just as you are.

5) Difficulty trusting others

A common behavior seen in women who grew up without a father figure is the difficulty in trusting others. This stems from the fear of experiencing the same kind of abandonment or rejection they felt as children.

Trust is the bedrock of any relationship, be it personal or professional. When trust is compromised at an early age, it can be challenging to establish and maintain healthy relationships later in life.

One of my core beliefs revolves around embracing obstacles and setbacks as opportunities for growth and learning. Trusting again after being hurt is a brave act of resilience. You learn to see every challenge as containing within it the seeds of creative possibility.

If you’re interested in this topic, I invite you to watch my video on the psychology behind why breakups hurt so much and how understanding this can help you move on faster with more dignity and personal power.

6) Overachieving tendencies

Another behavior that is sometimes seen in women who grew up without a father figure is a strong tendency to overachieve. This might sound like a positive trait, and indeed, it can lead to notable accomplishments. However, when driven by an underlying need to compensate for perceived inadequacies, it can become a source of unrelenting pressure and stress.

As high achievers, these women often set extremely high standards for themselves. They relentlessly push themselves in pursuit of excellence and success, often at the expense of their wellbeing. This drive may stem from a deep-seated desire to prove their worth, not just to others but also to themselves.

This is where one of my core beliefs comes into play. True prosperity is not just accumulating wealth or achieving societal success. It means aligning financial decisions and professional pursuits with our deepest values and using our talents and resources for positive change, rather than as a means to prove our worth.

7) Strong resilience

One of the more positive behaviors often observed in women who grew up without a father figure is a remarkable sense of resilience. Despite the challenges they faced in their formative years, many of these women develop an extraordinary ability to bounce back from adversity and to keep moving forward, even in the face of difficulties.

This resilience often stems from the need to adapt and survive in challenging circumstances from a young age. They’ve had to navigate life’s obstacles without the support or guidance of a father figure, which often instills a strong survival instinct and an ability to cope with life’s ups and downs.

8) Difficulty in establishing boundaries

Another behavior seen in women who grew up without a father figure is difficulty in establishing boundaries. This can manifest as a tendency to put others’ needs before their own or to tolerate behaviors that are damaging or disrespectful.

The absence of a father figure can sometimes lead to a skewed understanding of what constitutes a healthy relationship. As a result, they may struggle to assert themselves or to protect their emotional wellbeing.

Both resilience and the ability to establish boundaries tie into my belief that true empowerment comes from taking full responsibility for our lives – acknowledging our struggles, focusing on what we can control, and choosing to shape our own narrative.

Break the pattern

The behaviors we’ve talked about here come from real-life experiences of women who grew up without a father figure. Recognizing these patterns will hopefully lead you to embracing who you are and where you’ve come from.

When we acknowledge how our past has shaped us, we gain the power to shape our present and future. Every challenge you’ve faced has made you stronger, and every obstacle you’ve overcome has added to that strength.

Knowing this allows you to live a life that feels more true to who you are. If you’d like to explore these themes further, I invite you to join me on my YouTube channel, where we talk about living authentically and with purpose. I hope you find some gems in there.